TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #10

IF A BLACK MAN WITH A WHITE MOTHER AND AN ABSENTEE FATHER CAN BE ELECTED PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES THAN ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE



FEW LAST YEAR EVER BELIEVED THAT BARACK OBAMA COULD EVEN CONTEND FOR THE PRESIDENCY OF THE UNITED STATES, MUCH LESS WIN THE GENERAL ELCTION. HE PROVED HOW FAR ONE CAN GO WITH HARD WORK, WILL AND LEADERSHIP. ADD TO THOSE THINGS A REALLY FUCKED UP BUSH ADMINISTRATION'S LAST 8 YEARS AND A HORRIBLE ECONOMIC CRISIS AND YOU HAVE THE MOST WONDERFUL EVENT THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN MY LIFETIME. PEACE TO BARACK. QUITE HONESTLY HE WOULD HAVE TO SOMETHING REAL MAJOR IN THE WAY OF FUCK UPS TO OUTDO BUSH FOR INEPTITUDE. IF HE JUST SHITS IN THE WHITE HOUSE FOR THE NEXT 8 YEARS HE COULDN'T COME CLOSE TO MATCHING THE RETARDATION THAT WAS THE REPUBLICAN PARTY AND BUSH.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #9

IF A BLIND BLACK MAN WITH A HISTORY OF RECREATIONAL COCAINE USE AND EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS CAN BECOME GOVERNOR THEN ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE...




THIS WAS A CRAZY YEAR FOR CURRENT NEW YORK STATE GOVERNOR DAVID PATTERSON. IN THE BEGINNING OF THE YEAR HE WAS JUST YOUR NORMAL DEMOCRATIC HACK REPRESENTATIVE PLAYING THE POLITICAL GAME. NO ONE CARED THAT HE WAS BLIND. IT DIDN'T MATTER HE WOULD NEVER BE IN THE POSITION TO AFFECT ANY REAL POLICY RIGHT? OOPS

AFTER ELIOT SPITZER GOT CAUGHT IN THAT HOOKER STING PATETRSON WAS THE GUY THAT JUST HAPPENED TO BE IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE EXACT WRONG MOTHERFUCKING TIME. ECONOMY IN A RECESSION? CHECK, WALL STREET IN NEAR COLLAPSE? CHECK BUDGET DEFICIT? CHECK.

THE STATE IS IN TROUBLE. IF PEOPLE COULD HAVE FORSEEN THIS CHANCES ARE THEY WOULD HAVE EITHER SWEPT THAT HOOKER SCANDAL UNDER THE RUG OR IF NEED BE SWEOT THAT CHICK UNDER A ROCK. STAY COOL DAVID.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #8

JUST BECAUSE A MAN MAKES A QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS AND PLAYS FOR THE MOST RECOGNIZED TEAM IN THE WORLD DOESN'T MEAN THAT A -ROD THINKS HE HAS ENOUGH ATTENTION...



ONE WOULD THINK THAT ALEX RODRIGUEZ. STAR REGULAR SEASON THIRD BASMEAN FOR THE NEW YORK YANKEES WOULD CONCENTRATE ON HOW TO HIT A HOMERUN IN THE POST SEASON AND NOT HITTING SOMETHING THAT HAS BEEN SWUNG AT SO MUCH THAT EVERYONE IS BATTING 1,000

BUT NOOOOO! A- ROD AND MADONNA SUCCESSFULLY MANAGED TO USE EACH OTHER TO KEEP THEIR NAME RECOGNITION AND OUR DISLIKE OF THEM AT TALL -TIME HIGHS. SINCE IT'S BLONDE, COKED OUT WHORES THAT HE SEEMS TO BE INTO CAN SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE A -ROD PARIS HILTON'S NUMBER?

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #7

DEGREES DON'T MEAN SHIT WHEN IT COMES TO WALL STREET. IT'S JUST ANOTHER FORM OF LEGALIZED GAMBLING!



WHEN THE BOTTOM DROPPED OUT ON WALL STREET YOU HAD EVERYONE TELLING US A DIFFERENT STORY EACH DAY. COME TO FIND OUT NO ONE KNEW WHAT THE FUCK THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT.

NO ONE.

IT WAS EITHER A RECESSION, A RECOVERY OR A DEPRESSION.

HERE'S MY THING: I CAN DO WHAT THESE SO-CALLED EXPERTS DID AND I DON'T HAVE ANWHERE NEAR THEIR "CREDENTIALS." HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO TOTALLY BANKRUPT THE ECONOMY AND CRIPPLE CIVILIZATION? DO YOU REALLY NEED TO HAVE A DEGREE AT THE WHARTON SCHOOL OF BUSINESS TO TOTALLY COMPROMISE THE WESTERN ECONIMIC MONETARY SYSTEM? CAN'T YOU DO THAT WITH AN ASSOCIATES?

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #6

CUNT IS ONE WORD THAT SHOULD NEVER BE USED TO DESCRIBE SARAH PALIN...IT WOULD BE INSULTING TO CUNTS



I AM SORRY. I KNOW THAT CUNT IS A HORRIBLE WORD AND THAT MANY PEOPLE (FELLOW CONTRIBUTOR THE WHITE SHADOW TO NAME JUST ONE) HATE THE TERM BUT SARAH PALIN WAS WORSE THAN THAT HORRIBLE WORD THAT DESCRIBES NASTY WOMEN. SHE WAS A JOKE AND HER MERE PRESENCE AND PURPOSE ILLUSTRATED JUST HOW FAR THE GOP HAS TO GO IN PRODUCING CANDIDATES THAT DON'T TRY AND SINK TO THE LOWEST LEVELS OF INHUMANITY. I HOPE SHE STAYS IN ALASKA AND LEAVES US DOWN- STATERS ALONE FOREVER

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #5

KWAME KILPATRICK PUTS THE N AND THE E-R IN THE N-WORD



THIS GUY HERE. HE WAS ON SOME CRAZY SHIT. NOT ONLY WAS HE AN INCREDIBLY INCOMPETENT MAYOR OF DETROIT BUT HE ALSO GOT CAUGHT UP IN A SEXUAL AFFAIR, A SCANDAL AND OH YEAH MANAGED TO GO TO JAIL. WTF? KWAME MUST HAVE BEEN SMOKING SOME OF THAT STUFF. FOR REAL. THEN HAD THE NERVE TO SAY THAT HE IS GOING TO COMEBACK.

TO WHAT - A REALITY SHOW?

DUDE, DO US ALL A FAVOR: DIVORCE YOUR WIFE, BONE YOUR MISTRESS AND DO SOMETHING THAT WILL NEVER FORCE THE PUBLIC TO SEE YOU AGAIN. PLEASE.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #4

THE CLINTONS ALWAYS FIND A WAY TO BE THE VICTIMS AND THE VICTORS.



WHAT THE HELL? AFTER THIS PRESIDENTIAL RACE WHERE HILLARY CONCEDED I THOUGHT THAT WE WERE DONE WITH THE CLINTON SIDESHOW. BUT NOOO. BARACK OBAMA BEING THE NICE BENEVOLENT GOD - KING THAT HE IS DECIDES TO MAKE HER THE SECRETARY OF STATE. THANKS OBAMA. NOW WE HAVE TO PUT UP WITH MORE STAINS ON DRESSES, KANKLES AND A REALLY PROFOUND SENSE OF ENTITLEMENT FROM TWO ASSHOLES.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T NO AT 33 - #3

EVERYONE ISN'T BARACK OBAMA -SOME MEN NEED FATHERS IN THEIR LIVES



EVERYONE CAN'T OVERCOME THE LOSS AND PAIN THAT COMES WITH AN ABSENTEE FATEHR. OUR ATHLETES ARE DEFINITELY AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT HAPPENS TO MEN THAT DON'T HAVE THAT STRUCTURE, GUIDANCE AND STRENGTH IN THEIR LIVES. THEY TURN INTO SPOILED, NARCISSISTIC, EGOCENTRIC OVERPAID PUSSIES.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #2

THE LIVES OF DOGS ARE WAY MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE WELFARE OF A YOUNG GIRL GETTING PEED ON OR A BLACK MAN COMING OUT OF A STRIPCLUB GETTING SHOT OVER 40 TIMES...




NOT ALOT TO WRITE I'LL JUST SAY THIS..R.KELLY FREE, MIKE VICK IS IN JAIL AND SEAN BELL'S WIFE HAS TO SEE THOSE COPS THAT SHOT HER CHILD'S FATHER WALK THE STREETS.

TOP TEN THINGS THAT I KNOW NOW AT 34 THAT I DIDN'T KNOW AT 33 - #1

THAT I AM BLESSED TO HAVE FAMILY AND FRIENDS.



FOR REAL. HUBRIS FOREVER. 34 AND NEVER STOPPING