So Facebook wasn't enough, huh America? FourSquare wasn't wasting enough of your time? Had to find a place to make those last 8 hours of your day disappear, didn't you?
While the rest of the world was mourning the deaths of crack head, blue-eyed soul singers and abhorring the vile acts of Norwegian terrorists, my inbox was being cluttered (#NoSolar) with random invites to join Google+ : the new do-it-all social circle, big-brother, stalker's paradise recently released to the masses by The Google World Order.
Apparently, folks are signing up by the millions to copy and paste the same exact shit they have on their Facebook pages, on to their Google+ profiles. Stupid Americans. Yeah Yeah Yeah, I know I'm a social media curmudgeon- I gladly own that title. I have a Facebook page, but i don't use it and I ONLY USE TWITTER FOR WORK (so all you porn star chicks, STOP STALKING ME...)! But, my utter disdain for the fuckery that is Facebook has nothing to do with my further abhorrence of this Google+ thingamajig. Simply put, in my humble opinion, the people inviting me to Google+ are the same people who tried SO hard to get me interested in SecondLife- that bullshit site where a "virtual" you existed in this "virtual second life". Some of these people were my friends, I'll admit. But their collective urge to be known as early adopters made me second-guess their places in my life.
Needless to say, it was virtually annoying to log on to this site, buy "virtually" expensive things, meet important "virtual" others, and live in a "virtually" perfect castle of a home; only to log off and re-assume one's own less-than-perfect real-life. SecondLife did one thing for most- it put a magnifying glass on the shit-hole that was your true existence. "I need to run to the store... no worries I'll just take my SecondLife ferrar... oh wait... i logged off already. Toyota Tercel it is."
Anyone that would try to get me to join THAT waste of life span doesn't deserve an "invite accepted" notice from my outbox (#noeddielong). I'm happy with my texting, cell calling, emailing, tweeting self and I simply don't have time to not do anything with yet another social networking profile. No pictures, no wall updates, no birthday wishes, no liking/un-liking and for damn sure no "friending".
You wanna get in touch with me? See above for the FOUR- COUNT 'EM FOUR- different ways I just listed wherein I can be contacted or socialized with. And here's a news flash- if you can't contact me in any of those 4 ways by now... we probably aren't "friends" anyway. You wanna friend me? Meet me in this real world, randomly or scheduled...ly (?). Let's share an experience that stokes intelligent (or unintelligent) discourse. Shit, call my number by mistake and spark up a great conversation about how much the film 'Life' was a complete rip off of 'Stir Crazy' (you wrong for that Eddie).
Let's just stay HUMAN thru all of this pseudo-socializing- that's all I'm asking. Instead of inviting me to share stupid pictures of me doing the Kid-N-Play at my dad's 60th birthday party (which WAS AWESOME- but still), invite me to a house party or a Tribe concert. Just stop it with the fake socializing... we have enough fake in this world already. Unless SecondLife is your world- in which case I probably wouldn't wanna socialize with you anyway. Invite denied.