A CREEPER



Most dudes know what I mean when I say "creeper". I am talking about the type of woman that you don't bring around your mom. The type of woman that you bring around your boys when you have side chick night. Women know exactly what I mean. They know the type of woman not to leave their men alone with. My wife has already been put on notice: If we ever find
ourselves at a party with Niecy Nash, don't get any water, don't leave me alone to speak to anyone else and whatever you do, don't go to the bathroom. Wet yourself if you have to because I swear Niecy does something to me. Lately she has lost some weight and I am mad at her for it, but thankfully the Reno 911 movie, reruns and this picture remain in the ether. Love you Niecy. see you around.

COOL GAY DUDE



Straight guys have rules. One unwritten rule is that when it comes to gay guys we steer clear. When it comes to gay women we usually want them to be more than one and both pretty. But I digress. Usually the only time when a straight guy comes into contact with gay men it's usually at the awkward family dinner, going into the wrong club or because we are picking up our women from the hair salon. Gay guys to straight men is like facts to The Bush Administration; they usually don't connect. But if I had to hang out with one gay guy it would be Nathan Lane. He is the funniest dude. He makes me laugh just by making faces. He starred in such movies as "Birdcage" and the screen and broadway versions of "The Producers". This guy is one of the funniest men of all time. In fact, he is so funny that despite the fact he swallows penises i would hang out with him. He truly is the Paul Lynde of our generation. The center square of the internet generation. Long live the gay funnyman, Nathan Lane.